It’s not that I have to excuse myself whenever I want to kill a couple of hours infront of the computer. But being 30 y/o and living with a partner it would just feel so much better if she was involved somehow.

The dream would be to have her feeling the same urge as I do to play. Im planing to introduce her to The world, I just want to do it right. I want her to get sucked in. How do I do that? If you have any experience in this matter, please share!

As a 54 year old I don't give a crap.I will be sitting next to my wife with headphones on as she watches NCIS & randomly says things to me that i am completely ignoring. Pretty much the same thing I did with her 10 years ago.

I'm in a very similar position. Will follow this thread, since I'm also looking for advice :)

ReverendChris wrote: ↑

5 years ago

As a 54 year old I don't give a crap.I will be sitting next to my wife with headphones on as she watches NCIS & randomly says things to me that i am completely ignoring. Pretty much the same thing I did with her 10 years ago.

Don’t make a big thing out of it, just ask her if she wants to play for a bit and let it flow.

I used to really want to involve the wife in the game, but tbh I'm not so sure anymore.

Indeed, in a previous relationship I lived with my gf and we played wow together, and it had it's good times, but there was just too much drama about it tbh.
Things were fine when we were both semi hardcore raiders in the same guild, playing the same times, but sometimes one can play while the other can't, sometimes one gets along well with people the other doesn't etc. (indeed like with anything else in life yeah?)
We ended up in rival raiding guilds where the one I played in eventually overtook the one she played in as the server's number one guild, and she took that very hard.
Obviously, a lot of the problems we had were not so much due to wow as they were simply brought to light by wow, as evident in that we're no longer together I guess, but I realized at the end of the day that I like to play the game at my own leisure at my own pace.
Yet another issue that few guys seem to consider is that girls often have a very different way of looking at ingame interpersonal relations and social responsibilities, and that many girls that get into wow get much deeper into it and become unable to shake it off, as such girls are more, shall we say, burdened with the expectations, something many guys can shrug off. You'd be surprised how many relationships have broken down because the GIRL got too hardcore and started neglecting other things, after the guy got her into the game. (no intention of overgeneralizing, your mileage may vary obviously)

It's awesome to be able to grab the wife for some fun in the game sometimes. Had lots of fun doing stupid shit together with my exgf. Occasionally I'll do something silly in retail and she'll take part somehow, like when we went exploring and found Winnie the Pooh in Stormsong Valley (boy did she love that). But sometimes I want to do the dungeon I want to do, or the raid that I want to do, or indeed power level into the night even though she has to get up early for work etc.

My wife is now also a very very VERY casual gamer, being a Japanese farmer's daughter whose parents don't even own a TV.

There could be some fun times, but for the launch of Classic I want to play *my* game tbh. I know that if I bring her into it there will be times, other than the times where she simply wants me to put the game down and come do something else, where she will consider what we're doing *playing games*, with the intent of then going away from the computer afterwards, whereas I might consider it *being social with her*, waiting for the chance to play by myself afterwards.

I want to avoid these kinds of things. I don't feel like I can share the game with her in a way that would make both of us happier than if I simple kept it as my thing. Just as I don't go buy disney merchandise for myself in an attempt to like the same things she does.
So what I do is, I try to involve her a little bit in the universe. I tell her about the stories. I show her silly things I find. I let her listen to the music. I invite her over to the pc to let her laugh at how stupid my new helmet looks etc.
It means I can talk a little more naturally about it when there's something I'm excited about, but I don't have to adjust my hobby so that she can also enjoy it, so to speak. If she actively wants to play, I'll help her get into it, but I have enough bad experiences that I don't want to drag her into it, knowing it's probably also hard for her to get a good feel of exactly how much of it I actualyl want to share with her.

Uh, so I guess to put it shortly, if you want to involve your partner you should not do so lightly without thinking about the consequenses both for yourself and for your partner. Will she really enjoy it, or is she just trying for your sake? Will YOU enjoy it if she gets super into like, looking for squirrels in Elwynn, and wants you to join her in finding them for 2 hours, after which gametime is over and she'll be disappointed you then go play the "real" game? It's awesome to share the things we love with the people we love. But it's also awesome to be able to like different things and still love each other.

ReverendChris wrote: ↑

5 years ago

As a 54 year old I don't give a crap.I will be sitting next to my wife with headphones on as she watches NCIS & randomly says things to me that i am completely ignoring. Pretty much the same thing I did with her 10 years ago.

ReverendChris wrote: ↑

5 years ago

As a 54 year old I don't give a crap.I will be sitting next to my wife with headphones on as she watches NCIS & randomly says things to me that i am completely ignoring. Pretty much the same thing I did with her 10 years ago.

I'm in kind of a conundrum, I want my GF to play and we do plan on playing together. But i've been playing wow since vanilla was out, and this is her first time playing wow. She basically wants me to level with her the whole way, since shes new. I'm taking the first week off for launch and she isnt. What i really want to do is go full no life on my main and just level that as much as i can. But she will want to play together so ill need to take some time for her, i'm hoping she kind of gets hooked like i am and is able to play by herself at times. We'll see

@Killpacko just make a different character to play with her

That's me time.

It's gonna stay that way.

@apol yeah you're probably right lol. just always so used to hyper focusing on one character but i need to stop stressin about pushing myself to level fast

My wife received a copy of WoW as a gift back in college and she never opened it. I'm hoping eventually I will let her make a character (she loves building my Skyrim characters) and she if she wants to try it. If not, that's fine. I won't push the issue.

TL;DR Figure out what your partner likes to do, help them find a way to do it in WoW and be willing to give up some of your own goals to help them along. Be sure to be up front and ask them for help completing your own goals, and be patient with them if they're new.

My wife and I played a ton of guild wars 2 before we got married and we're excited to play another mmo together now.
When it comes to sharing a hobby with your significant other, I'd say the easiest analogue I can think of would be watching a show together. I'm sure plenty of us have been in the situation where one person has the chance to watch another juicy episode of the show while the other person is at work or something. That temptation is really intense! Why not just watch an episode or two and then catch up when you're back together?
For some people that's fine, but if I was ok with my wife doing that with a show it would be one I didn't really care about. For a good show, like stranger things or something, I would REALLY want to be a part of watching that episode for the first time as a pair, so I could enjoy her experiencing it for the first time while I did the same, making our enjoyment more than the sum of its parts.

How does that relate to an MMO? Well, when we played Guild Wars 2 we had different play styles and personal goals. It was her first MMO, she really had a blast just exploring, looking around, and this is important, checking things off lists. For me, I enjoyed those things but they weren't my primary goal. I just wanted to be in close proximity to her IRL and in game.

So what did we do? We would work together to finish some quests (GW2 does a neat area wide questing thing that I won't go into detail here), then she and I would take stock of our surroundings and see what we wanted to do next. She would find a goal I'd help her do, then I'd do the same, both of us working together to help our partner reach their goals. I'm not saying that's what we did 100% of the time, but those were the times I look back on and treasure the most, even though, back then in the moment, there may have been some specific goal I had that she didn't share that I really wanted to go run off and accomplish alone.

At the end of the day, everything you do in a relationship is going to have a certain dynamic to it, a give and take. Sometimes that means being patient and putting your own goals on the backburner, sometimes it means asking for help from your partner to accomplish your own goal. Being patient and persistent about including your partner in your goals while joining in on accomplishing theirs will really enrich your shared experience.

SO: Back to the original question. How do you get your significant other involved? Firstly, be up front. I told my wife she may not enjoy GW2 and that she might not enjoy WoW now. But I know her, and I know what kind of things she enjoys. This time around, she wants to get every single cooking recipe in WoW. I don't even know if that's possible, but I'm helping by doing some of the research and figuring out how to make some of the more confusing aspects in this case (WoW's UI, using a site like Wowhead that she's unfamiliar with) more accessible to her.
For all of you out there that may mean something else. What other games do your partners play? What kind of things do they enjoy IRL? One thing WoW doesn't lack is things to do: If they enjoy Pokemon, encourage them to make a hunter and look up rare pets on a site like petopia and make it their goal to reach them and attain them. If it's being a badass PVPer, since you're the more experienced player consider taking a supportive role to whatever class they're playing. Syncing your goals in this way is what will make the difference.

One final note: A lot of MMO noobs try a class, hate it, then quit the game. Sometimes that's just them not liking MMO's, sometimes it's the class. I always say that even if you're pretty far along in a class and you are consistently no longer enjoying it, quit it and try a new class.

Having your partner be into WoW isn't always the greatest. It has it's fun points, undoubtedly, but your spouse can turn into an ankleweight for your favorite activity. I was held back from a lot of PvE content in TBC because my ex couldn't handle a lot of the game. I even had times where I had to tell her she couldn't come to a raid because she wasn't performing up to par. Yeah. Fun stuff.

Don't do it. All the points @pan0phobik mentioned + below.

Even if she does get into a raid and plays well, she still has a high chance of never making friends because she's treated like your accessory, or the alternative where rando people in the guild and game flirt with her and try to steal her away just because you're there.

Seen both happen and let's face it, she'd probably have more fun playing the game without you on a different server if she was actually interested in the game. It's not anything about you in particular: it's about everyone else and their knowledge of your relationship with both of you present.

EDIT: Have to add that the situation would be completely different if she played WoW before you met her, you met on WoW, etc. etc. Anything but you introducing her to it as her sole reason for playing as her unfamiliarity with the game and ability to lean on you will likely hamper her abilities to ever fully integrate into the community.

Raided with my GF for quite some time. We had a blast. Highly reccomended. Sorta ruined it when I got more competitive and tried to project it on her. She immediately lost interest. Keep your expectations low and just play the game. Its no different than busting out a board game with your significant other on a rainy day. Just dont get your expectations up. Even though she doesnt play anymore, I wouldnt ever change having played with her; those times were great.

My GF would be interested to try Classic out as a game, but she's just so hard against paying subscription fee that I don't think I can ever get her to try it out. (And no, paying the sub fee myself for her won't work either cause she wouldn't play it even then out of principle, since she thinks you shouldn't have to pay for playing a game after you've bought it)

I let my now wife play a new character years ago to see if she enjoyed it (she loves watching me play). I went to the bathroom, came back, and found her in tears. I asked what could have possibly happened in the first 5 minutes of playing a level 1 character that would cause her to cry??

She had killed a rabbit critter.

She hasn't played since.

She has never forgotten the rabbit, or forgiven herself.

She still enjoys watching me play though

If you intent to raid then maybe you should not do it. The amount of drama that can errupt if she is not brought to raid or being substituted or not getting the loot she wants will make you regret it. Even if you are not involved in these decisions, you will pay it because you "did not stand up for her". Even worse she might quit and try to make you quit of this "shit, time sinking game". And this time she could justify her opinion because "she tried it".

Of course she might not be the typical woman and everything can go smooth. Your call.

If you want to introduce her gently, be careful to support her because she will die a lot. First thing to teach her is to avoid dying. Dying repetatetly will demotivate her to continue. Next thing, tell her to play a healer that will mend your wounds, while you keep away the bad guys from her. Sounds romantic and she might love it. And there is a good chance she will find raid spot!

Lastly, be midful that this is a male dominated environment. She will get a lot of attention eventually. Girls like the attention. I won't say more here.

Rayaleith wrote: ↑

5 years ago

If you intent to raid then maybe you should not do it. The amount of drama that can errupt if she is not brought to raid or being substituted or not getting the loot she wants will make you regret it. Even if you are not involved in these decisions, you will pay it because you "did not stand up for her". Even worse she might quit and try to make you quit of this "shit, time sinking game". And this time she could justify her opinion because "she tried it".

Of course she might not be the typical woman and everything can go smooth. Your call.

If you want to introduce her gently, be careful to support her because she will die a lot. First thing to teach her is to avoid dying. Dying repetatetly will demotivate her to continue. Next thing, tell her to play a healer that will mend your wounds, while you keep away the bad guys from her. Sounds romantic and she might love it. And there is a good chance she will find raid spot!

Lastly, be midful that this is a male dominated environment. She will get a lot of attention eventually. Girls like the attention. I won't say more here.

Rayaleith wrote: ↑

5 years ago

she might not be the typical woman and everything can go smooth

Rayaleith wrote: ↑

5 years ago

Girls like the attention.

Some experiences are best left unshared. Why invite the possibility of family discord into your experience. One bad disagreement could destroy the joy of the game for you. Just something to think about.

My girlfriend just started playing games this year. I threw her on a classic pserver and every MMO she's tried since has been a snoozefest for her. If the girl likes games, there isn't a better one to get her started with.

teebling wrote: ↑

5 years ago

Don’t make a big thing out of it, just ask her if she wants to play for a bit and let it flow.

ReverendChris wrote: ↑

5 years ago

As a 54 year old I don't give a crap.I will be sitting next to my wife with headphones on as she watches NCIS & randomly says things to me that i am completely ignoring. Pretty much the same thing I did with her 10 years ago.